Why I Almost Killed My Sister

I almost killed my sister on my birthday.

say it isn't so

Now don’t get me wrong; I realize it’s shocking to lead with that, especially since this is supposed to be a humor blog and death isn’t funny. Spoiler alert: there will be a happy ending. Sort of.

It started 3 days before my birthday when I called Vicki to see whether her doctor contacted her with test results from the previous week. At 64, she’s lived most of her life with debilitating obsessive-compulsive disorder, is developmentally and physically disabled and now has a muscle condition forcing her to use a walker. Life has not been particularly kind to Vicki.

Bill, Vicki me at Tahoe

Me, brother Bill and Vicki at Tahoe circa 1960

Vicki sleeps late and doesn’t have a cell phone or computer. I can only contact her via her home phone. She often can’t reach it before it goes to voicemail so I leave a message and hope she calls me back. But this time she didn’t. I figured she’s probably out getting dinner and will call me later. But no. Continue reading

Who You Callin’ Quirky?

People are funny, don’t you think? And I don’t mean in a comical, ha-ha sort of way; I’m talking about beingquirkyNow don’t get me wrong; we all have our quirks, some more severe than others. I guess the trick is in surrounding ourselves with people whose quirks are tolerable. Failing that, at least choose friends whose quirkiness is entertaining, if nothing else. Continue reading

Sharing Secrets

We all have secrets. If you think you don’t, then you’re being secretive. Naturally, some secrets are juicier than others. Now don’t get too excited; my secrets aren’t all that juicy. You won’t learn that I’m in the Witness Protection Program from testifying at a mafia murder trial in Chicago. No, my secrets pale in comparison. Here, I’ll show you…Witness Protection Program

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