I know some people think I’m crazy for being a guardian of 8 pets. Well, maybe it’s more than just some people. Probably a few. Quite a few, is my guess.

Now don’t get me wrong; I don’t disagree. Especially on days when Wally won’t stop barking…

Taffy misses her pee pad…

Fat Jack eats all his food then finishes everyone else’s…

Oliver wakes me with his paw on my face…

Shy Savannah hides too much…

Dash escapes my escape-proof backyard…

Callie hogs the bed…

And Skip…well, I have to admit he’s nearly perfect. Other than being afraid of stairs.

But of all those complaints, the one that concerns me most is when my pets take over the bed. You see, I have a king size bed, which seems crazy (again) for just one person. And I’d agree if I was the only being sleeping on it. After all, I’m not a big tosser-turner. I pretty much stay in one place most of the night, all the way to the side, which apparently is inviting to my menagerie. Hence, I’ve never slept alone since age 27, when I married.

Every night Wally crates himself next to the bed while the rest of the troop piles on (other than Savannah who prefers to sleep solo). But first I have to give Skip a lift even though he’s perfectly capable of jumping up. He successfully feigns his ineptness until I stand behind him and count, one…two…three…JUMP! I pretend to lift him although he actually leaps on his own. Hmmm…maybe Skip’s not so perfect after all and I’ve just confirmed I am indeed crazy.

Anyway, when I hurt my back last year, I considered getting a bed where the back rises so I can write, read and watch TV without propping myself up with pillows. My bed is 15-years-old. But a Sleep Number bed always feels like new (adjustable air chambers inside a mattress) and my Tempur-Pedic pillow top is divine. But lying down was uncomfortable on my back so sleeping propped up meant using one of those goofy looking backrest pillows with arms.

So I started looking at new beds but the choices were endless and I’m not one who is especially decisive. For instance, they have the beds that split down the middle so you and your significant other can be at different heights when sitting up. They also have half splits — I guess so you don’t feel like you’re falling through the bed if you sleep in the middle. They have multiple cushion tops to choose from, from 2″ to 7″. Some beds vibrate. Others, like hospital beds, elevate the feet and knees. Too many choices for an indecisive person.

After seeing them, I went home to think about it. That night I realized I couldn’t buy the full split since Callie sleeps next to me, smack in the middle.

I couldn’t get one where the foot of the bed rises because that would scare Dash and Jack, who sleep down there.

I couldn’t use the main feature I wanted — the sitting-up feature —because Taffy, Oliver and Skip sleep near or on my pillow. How would all that work? But after sleeping propped up that night with my backrest pillow, I decided to keep the bed I have. It really wasn’t that I couldn’t decide (although I sorta couldn’t). Mainly I knew it wouldn’t work for my pets. Can you believe that?

So to validate what you’re thinking: Yes, it’s likely I’m crazy.