Author Archives: Janet

Back to My Reality

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reality

Vacation is over. It’s now back to my reality:

  1. Trapping feral cats to halt their baby-making capabilities reminiscent of Octomom and her 14 kids.Octomom and kids
  2. Playing tennis in my ongoing attempt to serve an ace before I die. Accomplishing that feat is so far fetched, it likely would result in my opponent having a heart attack from the sheer absurdity of it. So let’s skip this one, shall we?
  3. Continuing to manage 7 animals…like stopping Jack from pouncing on Savannah, cleaning up after Oliver’s hairballs, keeping Nellie from eating poop in the backyard and trying to get Tippy to sit anywhere but in front of my monitor. tippi blocking computer
  4. Enjoying time spent with friends. Oh wait! That’s what I was doing on vacation. Hmm…appears I have a pretty nice life. Gotta love retirement…

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Living Life Lip-less

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It wasn’t long ago that I recognized something about myself: I have no lips. That’s right, I’m lip-less. One would think I’d have noticed this a few years ago, but no. Apparently I don’t look in the mirror enough. In fact, I peek as little as possible.

me again 3

See what I mean?

That’s not to say I look hideous. I wouldn’t go THAT far. But when I do stop to look closely at myself, it’s sorta scary. Seems the older I get, the more my lips disappear, along with other pertinent stuff. Bette Davis had it right when she said, “Old age ain’t no place for sissies.”

bette davis

You tell ’em Bette

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That’s Ridiculous, Chapter 4

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I haven’t written a ridiculous post in over a month so I think I’m due, don’t you? Now don’t get me wrong; I’m sure by now you’ve noticed that many of my blog posts are ridiculous. What I mean is, I sometimes list the little things in life that I find annoying or absurd. And I always have plenty of material, let me tell ya.

ridiculous quote

Anyway, let’s get right to it, shall we? I’m literally writing this at the 11th hour this weekend and if I plan to get any shut-eye tonight, I better wrap up this ridiculousness.

That’s Ridiculous #1

This morning I forgot the name of my dog, Callie. For about 10 seconds there, I was drawing a complete blank. I stared into her eyes and…nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Callie up close in kitchen

How can I forget this face?

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What’s Going On Here?

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Something is going on. The past couple months I’ve noticed an exorbitant amount of people I know getting injured. Have you noticed the same? A friend of mine who’s into astrology says the reason might be because Mercury is in retrograde.

Mercury Retrograde

Now don’t get me wrong; I know nothing about astrology except that my birth sign is Cancer the Crab. And that’s the extent of it. So naturally I have absolutely no idea what mercury in retrograde means. I had to look it up. Cutting to the chase, let’s just say it means it’s a time for fated events.

cancer crab

So I wondered, are all these injuries fated? In a word, nope. Because turns out retrograde doesn’t happen until April 28, at 1:20 p.m. to be precise. That still leaves me with the question, what’s going on here? Continue reading →

I Juice Detoxed and Lived to Tell

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The fact that you’re reading this is proof I didn’t kill myself on this, my 9th day into my juice cleanse. And I’ve not killed anyone else either. Of this I’m quite proud. You see, I wasn’t so sure what would happen when I began my attempt to dislodge myself from craving sugar and get back on track with better eating habits. Let’s just say I figured it would be ugly.

juicing

…and nobody died

When I began, I expected to be ridiculously cranky going through withdrawals by juicing throughout the day, although eating a dinner of vegetables. The later hasn’t been that tough since the last time I ate meat was April 11, 1990.

Paul McCartney once said if slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be vegetarian. I saw through the glass wall that April day and that did it for me. (I’ll spare you a photo. You’re welcome.) Now back to my cleanse…

Paul-McCartney-Glass-Walls-511150

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